Patriarcas e super-heroínas

O Patriarca de Lisboa celebrou missa ontem, dia de todos os santos, ao lado do Patriarca Melquita, da Síria, e falou do quanto sofrem os cristãos no mundo árabe.

O tal Patriarca Melquita, Gregório III, esteve em Lisboa nestes dias. Entrevistei-o a semana passada e ele falou não só da perseguição a que são sujeitos os cristãos, como também de algumas das particularidades desta igreja católica de rito oriental, cujos líderes tradicionalmente, rejeitam o cardinalato.

Publiquei, entretanto, a transcrição completa da entrevista, cuja leitura recomendo sobretudo a quem acompanha o mundo do Médio Oriente, o diálogo inter-religioso e questões ecuménicas.

O Papa Francisco aproveitou o dia de ontem para rezar por todos aqueles de quem ninguém se lembra.

Leiam aqui a entrevista que Ângela Roque fez a Teresa Power. Ao contrário do que o nome indica, não é uma super-heroína, mas sim uma mãe de sete filhos que gere um blogue sobre “uma família católica”. Pensando melhor, se calhar é mesmo uma super-heroína.

O Instituto Politécnico de Bragança tem um novo espaço inter-religioso, que nas últimas semanas foi animado por voluntárias alemãs da Comunidade Taizé.

"We will be the salt and the light of the Arab World"

This is a full transcript, in English, of my interview with Patriarch Gregorios III Laham, of the Melkite Church. His Beatitude speaks of the situation of Christians in the Middle East but also about particularities of the Eastern Catholic Churches, such as ordination of married men outside of the ancestral territories of the Patriarchates, etc. The news report can be seen here, in Portuguese, but is accompanied by a video which is in English, subtitled in Portuguese. The interview was conducted in English, some of the Patriarch's answers were edited for clarity, but always respecting his meaning. 

Transcrição integral, no inglês original, da entrevista ao Patriarca Gregório III, da Igreja Melquita. A notícia encontra-se aqui. 

You are in Portugal to speak about the situation of the Christians in Iraq and Syria. What will you be telling your audiences?

First, we are very thankful that you are so aware in Portugal and elsewhere about this situation, especially of the Christians as part of society in Syria. We are especially thankful to Aid to the Church in Need.

The events in Iraq in June, with the expulsion of about 120.000 Christians, and also some Yezidis from Mosul and Nineveh, were a shock for the whole Middle East. It had a great impact in Syria, because the Syrians were more optimistic, the situation was better, the government was doing well, the army was having more successes, but with this shock of Iraq the people were disappointed, skeptical, pessimistic, and more and more people are leaving today, because they are afraid that something similar will happen to them. 

Currently the main places of fear are near the border with Turkey, near Aleppo, in the North... Aleppo is a real prison, it has been for months. Several times without water, without electricity, and sometimes without food. But they are very courageous, and very united, the bishops and the people, but many left, especially the rich people who could help others. And many factories have been destroyed...

Damascus is less dangerous, it is the capital. We hear bombs and planes attacking, but more from the government against these mercenaries and bandits and groups. There are about 2000 groups working in Syria, fighting in Syria, against the government.

People say it is a civil war, but I can't say it is a civil war. Civil war means different factions of the country fighting each other. Here you have a government and mercenaries and groups from inside, from outside, fighting, attacking, kidnapping, and so on. It is not a civil war, it is not even a real revolution. It is a crisis, which is bigger because of the influence and invasion of other groups from outside. 

Daily we hear that people from Holland, Britain, Germany, are going to Syria. It is against human and natural law to go from Holland to fight against me in Syria, or to destroy my house. It's not like the first or the second world wars, not even like the war in Lebanon, there it was a real civil war, here it is all militias, militias, militias. 

The chaos is the biggest danger today. You don't know. Every place is safe in Syria and every place is dangerous.

Here in the West we see Christians being persecuted. Many people want to help. But what can they do?

First of all, really, if we had a consensus with the Arab world and Europe, to stop the war, this is the best help, because even with the huge humanitarian help by international organizations, the churches, Catholic and others, in spite of that, we can't cope with all the needs of our people. 

Daily we have more people needing help. For example, in my Patriarchate in Damascus we started a small community for about 300 families. Now we have 8000, and everyday more and more.

Children are dying, there are no schools, little food, now the winter, medicine, operations, handicapped people, kidnapped people and ransoms. Daily we have huge numbers and different sorts of tragedies and needs.

We have had lots of help, from the Vatican, Aid to the Church in Need, the Holy Father, Congregation for the Eastern Churches, Cor Unum, Ouvre d'Orient, Caritas, they are helping a lot, as well as our international friends. It is a lot of help, but we are not able to cope with the needs of the people. 

The second is really to stop the traffic of weapons. Pope Francis said that the biggest problem today is weapon trafficking... In Europe there are economic problems, and the weapons business and the war are ways of improving the economy in Europe and America.

For me, as a priest, as a bishop – very independent, very free, and with no tension or influences – we don't need these wars in the Middle East to change. We can change without that. The Islamic world was changing already before ISIS and so on, in general you could see development in Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Egypt, Iraq, without these wars and crises... we don't need it.

It is really an awful war and Europe is responsible for that, with the USA and with Russia. All together. I am sure that if one day the interests of Russia and America coincide we will have peace. As long as they don't realize how to do that, we will continue to have war. It is not ISIS... sure they have influence, but the real problem is somewhere else.

Assad warned that a change of regime would open the doors to radical Islam. Is the regime vital to coexistence?

The situation in Syria, the conditions of life together, coexistence, freedom of religion and of worship, churches, schools, development of industry and so on, is not only the result of the regime or the Ba'ath party. 

The party did a lot for the development of the country, but this coexistence, this freedom, is not a result of this party, which was founded by a Christian. It is an ancient tradition. In the time of the Ottomans, the best place to live, for Christians, was Syria and Lebanon, called Sham. These were countries where Christians could live. 

When you go out to other Arab countries, like the Emirates, the Gulf states, it is another Arabic Islamic situation. But the place where Christians used to live in security, in freedom and coexistence, cordiality, together, flourishing and respected, are these countries. So I wonder, what can these movements bring us more? I don't know. 

If there is an alternative, what is it? Who can bring me, as a Christian, as a Muslim, as Druze, as Shiite, more than I have now in terms of living together, peaceful coexistence of churches and mosques, living together in different quarters, with Christian business men having more Muslim employees than Christians... It is wonderful. I like to tell the Western countries, we live together better than in some countries in Europe. 

Many Christians were taken up by the pan-Arab nationalist movements in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. Has that dream died?

Well, it is in great danger. Not because of Islamism, these movements are instruments for something else. For me the biggest danger and the biggest problem and cause of this instability in the Middle East is the failure by Europe and the Arab world to solve the conflict between Palestine and Israel.

Iraqi Christian refugees in Erbil

I served for 26 years as bishop in Jerusalem, before becoming Patriarch. I can tell you that all the problems in these countries are related to the problem in Israel and Palestine. As long as there is no solution it means this conflict will be an excuse for many countries, including Arab countries, to dominate their people, not to do what they have to do, and not to liberate and give freedom and development. They spend a lot of money on weapons, but for nothing. The greatest interest is for Israel. 

Security for Israel? I am ok with that. But also security for Palestinians. The security of Israel is more in the hands of the Palestinians than in the hands of Europe and America, because as we say in Arabic, your neighbor is more important than your own house.

The Holy Father Pope Francis, when he came to Jordan in May, said there are two keys to peace in the Middle East and the world. First, a real political and diplomatic, comprehensive, consensus solution for the crisis in Syria.

Second, justice for Palestine. These two things have to be considered in all policies. But they are not considered.

The European Union is 50 years old. I told them, look, you have 50 years of peaceful coexistence. Please help Arabs, don't divide Arabs. Help us to be united. It is better humanity, for development, for young generations and also for peace for you. 

If we solve the Palestinian Israeli conflict we will have less aggressive Islam in Europe. We will have better Islam in Europe, they can be better integrated, there will be more understanding and more dialogue. The danger for you is bigger than the danger for us. Islam in Europe will be more dangerous than in our lands, because we have a long experience of living together, we will be successful, we will live after this crisis. So for the sake of Europe and the Islamic presence in Europe, you need to help solve the problem.

Holland is now willing to recognize the State of Palestine. I asked the Holy Father, when I was with him on the 20th of October in Rome, I said please, be the first state, not the last, to recognize Palestine and you will help Christians and Muslims alike, and Jews also. 

The salvation, the security of the Jews are in our hands and not in the hands others. 

There has been more and more talk of creating a safe-haven for Christians in the Middle East, do you think the time has come for this?

Never! Never. Never. It was maybe a temptation in the past centuries, but no more. 

When Israel defined itself as a Jewish state, there were no protests, which is a pity. I am ok with the existence of Israel, but Jewish state? What for? Where am I as a Christian, or as a Druze, as a Palestinan Muslim... What is the difference between a Jewish state and Shari'a? Jewish state means the law of the Jewish religion. 

After the creation of a Jewish state some want to have an Alawite state, a shiite state, a Druze state, a Kurdish state, and so on and so on, what is the future? Nothing. 

We can't live separated! We have a history of living together. I told my people, we will not have our state, we will be in all states and being, in these states, salt and light. This is the future. Christians cannot live alone. We don't have a ghetto spirit. We have to avoid the ghetto spirit. To be put in a corner, or like a resort to save animals or plants... We are the cradle of Christianity, the birthplace of Christianity, we don't need a state.

I wrote a letter to my people and I quoted the letter to Diognetus, which is well known. I told my people, this is the answer to you. Already in the second century this was it.

The Holy Father said, in Evangeli Gaudium, that people think that the problems of today are worse and more difficult than the problems in the first century. It is not true, it is the opposite! For 300 years we had no rights, it was pagan, now we have churches, schools, congregations, we have processions, we have everything. We were able to overcome then, why not today? We have to give hope to our people, because the danger is so big, they are leaving. They are in great fear.

As pastors we have to be very strong and near to our people. We thank the Lord that all patriarchs and bishops are very near to their people.

Christian leaders have always been against the creation of armed militias for the Christian communities, but since the purge of Mosul and other Christian areas, many have defended the legitimacy of an armed response. What is your opinion?

We are not able be armed and we don't like to be armed. 

I said in 2012, in a letter, we were not asked to be armed, in Syria, we are not asking to be armed and we don't like to be armed. Now, it is different to say that in some places we need to have self defense possibility. Not to attack, not militia. Militia is not for Christians. Lebanon used that approach and it was a very, very bad experience. We don't need that, we are different. The Arabic world needs us like this, and not like militias.

We have to convince our people not to take up arms. We have to see other solutions. So I am asking the whole world, why, after years and centuries, are we always solving problems with war? Why not think of something else? In the XXI century the states are only thinking of more and more weapons. The church has to change minds in the states and not to see everything in terms of weapons and militias. This is not the answer, not for the future.

We had 1400 years with Islam without weapons, why not continue without weapons?

But many middle Eastern Christians reject the idea that they are Arabs, and claim to be Assyrians, how do you react to that?

Who is Arab? Where is the pure Arabic blood? Many Muslims were Christians, Assyrians, Greek Catholic, and so on. Many admit this, that they were Christians. Until the XIII century the majority of the Middle East was Christian. How did they become Muslim? Over time.

Being Arabic is something difficult to define. There are different linguistic or geographic groups. It is a mixture of different groups. You can't differentiate. I am Greek Catholic, because of the Greek language, but I am Syrian, just like the Assyrians, because it was the invasion of the Greek language and all the Middle East was speaking Greek in the cities. Even the founders of the Syriac church did not speak Syriac. They are called Syriac Fathers, but they spoke Greek. 

So the difference between Arabs and non-Arabs, Assyrians, Syrians, Chaldeans... The same country has different languages, or similar languages.

What is Assyrian? Assyrian, Syrian, Chaldean, Hebrew, Cananean, Philistines... These people are closer to each other than Europeans, because our languages are closer to each other than European. 

I am happy that we have many rites. Coptic, Syrian, Armenian... We have more pluralism than Europe. I say keep your tradition! Think in Arabic, but think also in Coptic, Greek, Armenian, Syrian, Assyrian, Chaldean... How beautiful!

Before the war we had one million Iraqis and they were singing and praying in our churches in Chaldean, it was so beautiful to hear them! In Maaloula Muslims speak Aramaic, just like the Christians. So this distinction between Arabs and non-Arabs... We are in the Arab World. We are Kurds, Druze, Shiite, Christian…

The "arabity" is a Christian trait. We brought that. Some people say, keep your Christians to keep your "arabity", because if there are no more Christians in the Middle East, only Muslims, they will call themselves Muslims, not Arabs. Even though the Koran is in Arabic, they will say we are Muslim. Arabic is the language, but the nation is Islam. 

So in order to keep a real Arab world, an Arab spring, even, we have to keep Christians there. Not only are we interested in staying, you are interested in us staying. This is a real mission.

That is why I said in my letter to other Christians, it is not the time to be only afraid. There are reasons to be afraid, but it is also time to see where is our mission? I like to tell Christians in Europe, never speak of our presence without speaking about our role and our mission. A presence without a role is nothing, a role without a presence is nothing, therefore we have to think about the Christian presence and the Christian role, and in the very beautiful words of Saint John Paul II, the essence of the human being is to be with and for. I am with the Arab World, but I am for the Arab World, that they may have life, and life in abundance. 

How wonderful is this mission? The essence is to be with, but also for. That is the whole sense of this awareness of the world about Christians, not for themselves, to be present, but to be more, to bring the light of the Gospel, the joy of the Gospel, the values of the Gospel in the world. 

There are many different Christian churches in the Middle East, each with its own Patriarch, liturgy, traditions, language… The feeling is that Christians do not speak as one community and with one voice. Is this a problem, and how can it be overcome?
Because of dogmas, sometimes we have some problems. But for the pastoral, for the social presence, for the works and so on, we are one, especially today. We thank the Lord that we have a wonderful set of Patriarchs today, very united, and we had, since June of this year, many meetings together, all Patriarchs, not just Catholics. We went together to Arbil, to visit the refugees of our brothers, the Iraqis, Yezidis, Christians and Muslims. And we went together to Washington where we had a meeting with Obama, for 40 minutes, all together, and we have many declarations, thank the Lord, with one voice. We are very grateful for that and we want the World to hear our voice. One of the means to realize peace in the Middle East is to hear the voice of the churches. 

We don't have interests, no money, nothing, no militias, we are really, in favour of our countries, Syria, Egypt, Lebanon... We are not servants of a regime, no, no, no! We are strongly together, to bring peace.

I sent a letter to the Holy Father and also to the Bishop's conferences in the world. Giving a little paper and asking them, can we make a paper and give it to the Orthodox, the Anglicans, Lutherans and together having one paper for peace in the Middle East... This is a very beautiful and unique chance for the Church to be peacemaker, and that means real power for the Christians in the Middle East, good for dialog to continue in the Middle East and also in Europe. It is a great chance and I hope it will work. We were together with the Holy Father on the 21st and he said Yes, I hope they will do that, to have one document, one word of the whole world towards peace in the Middle East.

Were you satisfied with the results of the Synod for Middle Eastern bishops?

It was really an act of providence. Just before the crisis in the Middle East we had this wonderful chance to join together, Catholic bishops, but also the Orthodox, who were represented, Muslims and Jews... It was providential of Benedict XVI to have this synod, giving a plan for the Christians to be strong and to remain at home. What we need today we have in this document, to remain in our places, and all problems we need to speak about are in this document. 

We are very, very happy, and it is providence that this happened just before the start of the Arab Spring and the troubles.

Two of the only things the synod fathers requested, permission to ordain married men in diaspora communities and direct authority over your communities, were denied...

In November last year we had a meeting with the Pope for 4 hours. All Patriarchs of the Eastern Churches, and also the Archbishop-majors, and we spoke of these problems. One result is that today it is ok to ordain married men in America, and not only, in Europe, slowly, because we don't have these huge communities, but it is possible also.

This is official?

Yes, yes, official. With some indications to be discrete, because we have to go slowly, but it is ok. 

As for the authority of the Patriarchs outside, it is not so much as we wished. But it is up to us to organize ourselves. If we have more relations with the Latin Church in the countries where we have people, we can reach more with relations than with Canon Law, or with rules. And I think through the war now, and the crisis in the Middle East, I think there is more and more sensitivity towards us, and this is very important. 

Some Eastern Rite Catholics complain about the restrictions and say that they feel like second class catholics. Do you ever feel that way?

No. We had this experience of the synods and I attended many. There are feelings of family and respect. They are happy to hear us. We have more and more communication with them... I don't think that.

We do have better relations with the Cardinals and bishops outside the Curia. The Curia is very legalistic. We have better friendship with the Church outside the circle of the Roman Latin Church. It is different, you know, the Latins in Rome are one thing and the Latins outside Rome are something else. But it is the Church.

Pope Francis was the ordinary for the Greek-Catholic Communities in Argentina, do you expect a better understanding from him?

Well, this meeting in November last year, was a sign of that, and the same with the consistory on the 21st. He is always praying for Syria and for the Middle East.

We can't forget the prayer for Syria in September 7th last year. For 5 hours we were praying and we avoided the attack against Syria. The warships were on the coast with Syria. But there was no aggression, and Syria became a member of the Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons, it was a change.

I think he is very sensitive. In Argentina he was in touch with all communities, Catholic, Orthodox, and also Muslims and Jews. And he grew up in a very plural society and therefore he brought such a beautiful change and a new outlook for the Vatican. 

There is a tradition among Melkites of refusing to be made cardinals...

Yes, it is very rare. One Patriarch became Cardinal in the XIV or XVI century. But in the modern times, only Maximos IV, who was forced to accept as a sign of reverence. But for my predecessor Maximos V and for myself it is not a question. 

This is a Roman thing, not Oriental. We are more than cardinals, not by rank, but by jurisdiction. I am the Pope of my church. 

I like to say, jokingly, that as a Patriarch I am a big archbishop and a little Pope. In many things, unless there are problems, I can rule and serve my church without any reference to Rome. 

Respecting the tradition of the Eastern churches is a mission for us. Because we are the voice of the Orthodox inside all the jurisdiction and meetings of the Catholic Church. We are the presence of the absentee. If something is related to the Orthodox, we are there. We are immediately giving the point of view of the Orthodox and Eastern churches, and that is a big service that we provide.

Fifty years ago [Ecumenical Patriarch] Athenagoras met my predecessor Maximos IV. Maximos said to Athenagoras, “I was speaking always thinking of you”. And Athenegoras answered, “You were speaking on my behalf”. That is why we are so very faithful to our tradition, because it is the tradition of the Church. As John Paul II said in Orientale Lumen, a beautiful document, the Eastern Churches are churches, the same level as the Latin Church. It is not a special Church, it is the Church of God, the same, in the Middle East, in the Eastern as well as in the Western Church.

If somebody asked you if they should go and fight with the Kurds against the Islamic State, what would you respond?

Let us be ourselves and let Syria and Iraq solve the problems by ourselves. We used to be together for many years. Let the little people work together, and as I said, don't divide the Arab world. 

The people who fight are motivated by money and lack of sense of life. I don't think the jihadists coming from Britain, from Germany or Sweden are really willing to be jihadists or to be Muslim, they have no sense of life and they find adventure. 

Therefore I am really not afraid of them, and I would like to invite the European Union and the Western world to work for better Islamic united world, a united Arabic world, and you will have peace in your country. Peace in our countries is peace for Europe. We are one. We cannot forget the Mediterranean... it is our water. We need a good future for peace in our countries. No war! As Paul VI said. And let the little people work together.

You are interfering because you are powerful and you have weapons. You have to change your mind and do something else. Christianity is always a new look, the World today needs a new look. Not only wars and weapons and so on. We have to think of something new.

We had a bad experience of wars for centuries in the Middle East. The Gospel is a new look over the world. We hope that we can bring more light to our world.

“Cristãos serão o sal e a luz do mundo árabe”

Psicólogos dinamarqueses e a belíssima luta contra o diabo

Capela Sistina

Ontem falei-vos do psicólogo Peter Damgaard Hansen, hoje apresento-vos a reportagem que fiz com ele, no qual fala da sua experiência no ramo da terapia familiar.

A entrevista foi longa e abordou muitos outros temas também, podem ler a transcrição completa no blog, aqui. Vale muito a pena!

Agora já se pode ver a Capela Sistina à luz natural. Ou pelo menos à luz artificial que simula a luz natural. Vale a pena ver as imagens e o vídeo.

O Papa Francisco falou novamente da existência do diabo, referindo que a luta contra o maligno é uma luta “belíssima”.

Se dúvidas houvesse sobre o Estado Islâmico, foram novamente dissipadas pela descoberta de uma vala comum com os cadáveres de mais de 200 homens, todos executados a sangue frio. E estes nem eram “infiéis”, eram sunitas de uma tribo que se opôs ao grupo.

Encontra-se em Portugal o Patriarca da Igreja Melquita, que reside em Damasco e vem falar da situação dos cristãos no Iraque e na Síria. Amanhã fala em Lisboa, a partir das 17h, na Fundação Pro-Dignitate (Praça da Estrela, 12 - 1º), Lisboa e em Fátima no dia 1 de Novembro, na casa Nossa Senhora do Carmo, às 15. Não percam.

Não deixem de ler o artigo desta semana do The Catholic Thing, sobre a relação entre a Igreja e a Teoria da Evolução!

Psychology has become a substitute religion, with psychologists as a new priethood

Full transcript, in the original English, of my interview with psychologist Peter Damgaard Hansen. News story, in Portuguese, here.

Transcrição integral, no inglês original, da minha entrevista com o psicólogo Peter Damgaard Hansen. A reportagem resultante pode ser lida aqui.

So what brings you to Portugal?

I have been invited to come here by the Catholic Association of Psychologists to do some lecturing on my work with marital counselling and also to do a seminar with professionals, with whom I would like to go into a little bit more detail, showing how I work with couples, and what my understanding and philosophy is about marital issues.

Your speciality is family counselling, correct? What sort of situations do you usually deal with?

It’s mostly marital difficulties. Family issues are very critical in our times and very important to the world and to the culture. We always say that the family is the core unit of society, and the core of family is the relationship between husband and wife. To help them function at an optimum level together with the least amount of conflict and most flow of love is really the agenda that I see as very important to work for.

Many people find it difficult to deal with couples who are going through marital problems. We want to help, but often don’t know what to do, and suggesting professional help can be complicated. What is the best approach?

Typically the issue is that people feel embarrassed about not being able to make their relationship work and many have the idea that this is something we should be able to deal with on our own. In the sense that if only you find the right person to marry you won't have these big problems, so something must be wrong with us since we can't make it work, or maybe we picked the wrong one, and people have a hard time admitting that. 

So I think one of the first things I try to make clear, both in my talks and working with people, is that we should not feel bad about having marital issues. It really is difficult to make a marital relationship work. And that is because we are not perfect beings. We are all quite imperfect, and we live in a very burdened world, with wounded baggage and then try to make love flow without any problems, it’s basically impossible. 

So the first step is to admit that married life is very difficult. And once we can accept that and relax without feeling guilty about our own shortcomings, or angry with the other one for his or her mistakes, we have already taken great steps. Because behind marital issues I always find the idea that this should be better, it should work, we should love each other, that's the whole plan of marriage, and as good Christians and Catholics we have been told all the time that we should love our neighbour and our spouse, and I say that is the idea, but it is really very difficult. We can certainly find a lot of theological reasons for that, also psychological reasons, why it is so hard to love, because we basically need a lot of love.

I like to make a provocative point that we actually enter into relationships primarily to be loved, than to give love. Most people don't really think about it, but when you go deeper into this issue it actually becomes clear, we are looking for somebody to love us, and that feels like a natural thing, we want to find the perfect one, so that we can be loved, and then of course I will love the other also, but he or she should begin. And the other will have the same approach to me.

So in a marriage we have two people coming together who are both looking to be loved and who are not capable, to the same extent, of providing ideal love. We are created with a need for perfect unconditional love, I think it is stamped on our hearts by our creator, but our capacity to provide that unconditional love has some difficulties in the current state of mankind, following the fall, if you look at it theologically, but you don't even have to include that perspective, just psychological introspection will reveal that I know I should be loving, I know I should be forgiving of everything in my spouse and partner, but I just can't always do it. The selfishness and egoistic impulses are very strong. 

So I do refer to the egoism as a big obstacle to the flow of love, but not in a judgmental way. I don't see egoism as something which is bad, bad, bad. I see it as a flaw in our human nature, currently, which we have to admit and get going with and start working on, instead of feeling bad about our selfishness and pretending that it isn't there. 

How about outsiders who want to help, what is the way to act?

The way is to help people feel ok about having difficulties, to make that not a big disaster in itself, but to say things like, it is very difficult to make relationships work, we all have issues making it work. When people are in a crisis it is suddenly visible, and that is the embarrassing thing, but many couples come to me and think that they are the only ones that have these troubles, because everybody else looks like they have their acts together, and are smiling to each other, in church at least, but I know these other couples too, so I know that everybody has to struggle with it. So a good way to help is to be open about own issues too, own difficulties.

Should they insist on the couple finding professional help?

Yes, I think one should encourage that, and also make statements like, "This is something you cannot solve on your own". You are stuck with emotionally heavy issues that you ignite each other on them, you get into going in circles, often people have these discussions that go on and on indefinitely, they find themselves going in circles, and it is very important to get across to people that they cannot solve this on their own. Just like with other health issues, you need experts’ advice and so a third party that can step into this tense place with them, who they both can trust, is a huge step towards reconciliation.

To many Christian couples that third party might automatically be a priest. Are priests prepared to deal with these issues?

For many of the issues they have resources to draw from. I think it depends on the severity of the issues, and I know many couples who have found help by talking to a priest, just a third party listening, but some marital troubles are so deep rooted, because we get into family of origin issues, like traumatic events from childhood, which are played out in the marriage. The wounded baggage is conflicting with the wounded baggage of the other person, and then we get into some very deep rooted issues which I don't think many priests are prepared for, many counsellors for that matter, either, unless you have been trained and studied that particular dimension.

Is there such a thing as a marriage which is beyond salvation?

I don't think so. Many couples who think they are beyond the point of no return I am pretty sure they could get the help they need if they are willing to work for it, that is of course the condition. And that is where professional help is needed, and also to show them why love isn't active right now. Often there is a lot of anger, we hear statements like "I simply don't have those feelings for that person anymore", so its over, we might as well split and I'll go and find somebody else.

And I say, "well, if you don't have those feelings, then what is the big rush in getting out of it? What feelings to you have instead?"

And we always find tremendous anger. Behind a divorce and splitting up there is always anger. If we can release that through therapeutic intervention we have a totally different setup and sometimes the person can be freed. It is like taking the glasses of anger off, and you can see the world with different eyes. And behind the anger there is deep, deep sorrow, a deep longing to be loved. 

As I said before, we have a bigger need for love than our spouse can provide, but that doesn't mean that the marriage is hopeless, we can learn to embrace each other for not being perfect, that is another way of showing love. 

Before we used to complain about such high divorce rates. Currently the main problem seems to be that people simply don’t see the point of getting married in the first place. Marriage is clearly going through a crisis… what is the origin?

I think it spirals into that now. Many of the young generation who grew up seeing their parents get divorced, or all their friends get divorced, or everybody getting divorced, they naturally feel apprehensive about making a commitment if it is going to end with that anyway, so I think there is a great fear of commitment and of being disappointed, so I think it is important very early, when they are dating and have their first conflicts, to show them that they can be resolved, that there is hope for making a commitment, if you find a partner who is willing to work on their own issues.

There is a deep biblical saying, "Don't try to remove a splinter in your brother's eye if you have a log in your own". That is a formula for a happy marriage in a nutshell. 

And you could say my whole counselling is about rewriting that in psychotherapeutic terms, and explaining it from many different angles, we have to become aware that the marriage we get depends a lot on what we put into it or don't put into it. So a marriage is not a fixed thing which can't be changed, it is a dynamic thing that will change if I change. If I do something I will affect the other, if I don't, that will affect the other one too. We are all co-creators of the marriage.

If we believe that it is all about finding the right one, then it is like a lottery, you don't know if you will get one who you will love in a month or so, or next year, or if the other will love you. If people have that attitude they don't dare to take the risk, or make a commitment.

I also think the dimension of faith is important because we are beyond our own human capacity in controlling how a relationship is going to develop, so we have to trust that there is expertise to get from professionals in this level, and graces in the sacraments, from above, to work together to establishing good marriages. 

If that is God's plan for mankind He will keep his part of the deal if we keep ours. So I can put it this way. Before marriage it is about trying to pick the right one, after marriage we don't think about that anymore, it becomes about becoming the right one.

What is integrative counselling?

Since I started as a counsellor I very quickly realized that counselling alone, psychology alone, cannot solve psychological problems in a satisfactory way. And that was because I began to discover that the roots of psychological problems are spiritual, they go beyond the realm of psychology. But psychology could help us realise that psychology alone could not solve psychological problems [laughs], and that is what psychology did for me.

Then I began my own journey, I went more and more in a spiritual direction, then I actually discovered the richness of the Christian faith and eventually ended up in the catholic church, which I think presents the Christian faith in its most elaborate and most articulate and most profound way, which lends itself to be used in counselling, because it gives us a concept and an understanding of human suffering. And what I found in all my clients is that no matter what they come with, what their problem is, what diagnosis you can apply to them, is that they are hurting. 

They are in tremendous pain, and they feel alone with this pain, its not the pain as such which is the issue, it is the experience of being alone with it. So whenever somebody can enter into their suffering universe then they can convey the fact that they are not alone with this, there is a transformation going on, from insanity to normal human suffering. 

And that is where the Christian faith, which I see a need of integrating into our understanding of Human suffering, offers a solution: That God in the passion of Christ offers to be close to the suffering soul. 

Now you can still work with this even if the client you are working with has no faith whatsoever, at all, because as a counsellor you are supposed to step into these dimensions of suffering, you have to have a frame of reference for yourself, or you will quickly do something therapeutic that will distract it, or suggest medication to take the suffering away.

I don't see Human suffering as illness. What we see in many people, which is treated as illness, I see it as a suffering they are hiding behind some symptoms. Because they can't handle the pain. So you can develop some OCD, or depression, anxiety disorder, you name it, if you are in a state of suffering which is too much for the soul to handle on its own, which makes sense, people are not really sick, they are suffering a pain which is too much of a burden. But if you can step into it and show that you can understand what they are going through, they suddenly come out of this transe and say yes, I can see that, I am maybe not sick in that sense, but I burdened so much, I can't function and dignity is restored from a person who would otherwise be committed to the ward.

You were not raised a Catholic, but have since become one. Could you tell us briefly about that journey?

It began when I was 16 years old, when everybody begins to know what they want to be, and have dreams of being pilots or engineers, or whatever. Do you know what I wanted to be? Happy.

That was really what meant something to me. I wanted to be happy. Not that I was terribly unhappy, but I wasn't super happy, I knew that there was more to life than I was feeling there. I began my search. My parents were fundamentalist Christians, they said I should just believe in Jesus, and I'd be happy. But I needed something for my intellect too.

So I turned away from that and went on to do my own search and I thought that if I had enough wisdom of the human person I would be happy, so I decided to study psychology. It took me seven years, the time to get my diploma, to realise that I wasn't happy at all, I was actually more confused than when I had started, so I decided to go into personal counselling therapy and I started to explore all kinds of alternative therapies, new religious movements and whatever promised happiness. You name it, I tried it. But every time I discovered, if I got deep enough, it didn't deliver what it was promising.

At one point I thought I had found it, but then realised that no, that didn't work, O began to wonder if it was me that something was wrong with, and again I started thinking maybe my dad was right. Maybe there was something about this Christian approach to life. Maybe you just can't, by your own methods, through meditation, this and that, climb the ladder to happiness which I was trying to do. Maybe it depended on grace.

I liked that idea because that meant that then it wasn't me who wasn't good enough to figure out how to engineer happiness. So I began to look into it and went back to the Christian roots. Then on that journey I came across the blessed mother Mary, who intervened in my life in a very special way, through some of the apparitions in Medjugorje, that really spoke to me, and I thought wow, if this really is true, then I can't ignore this. Because I had always felt a little bad about leaving the Christian religion, I thought, what if they are right?

But I needed tangible proof that God was alive and active in the world today. And that was given to me in a very tangible way. So I surrendered to her and started listening to her, I started praying the rosary, my wife was on the same track as me, and that became an opening. We wanted to go back to the Christian church, but it had to be somewhere where there was room for our love for the Blessed Mother. 

We tried everything but the Catholic Church, because I was raised very anti-Catholic. But nowhere was she welcome. So we thought we'd try, and we were welcomed and felt immediately at home. Then when I started looking into Catholic Theology I saw the richness of wisdom there was there that spoke and explained so much to me about many of the things I had seen already at counselling.

So when I proclaim what I believe and people counter that I only think that because of my faith, I say no, I became a Catholic because it confirmed what I already had seen in my work. So I am very happy with it and it makes sense to me, I can explain and give reasons for why I have the faith I have. It satisfies my intellect and my heart, and so I'm sold.

With the decrease of Catholic priests and the rise of psychologists and psychiatrists, has psychology become a "new religion"?

I definitely think there is that trend. That psychology has taken on the character of being a substitute religion, with psychologists as a new priesthood. They certainly have some wisdom about how to live daily life, and the problems you have there, so there is something to offer, that is kind of seductive in its promise that if you get enough therapy, and so on, you may find ultimate happiness. But that has not shown up though, even though the discipline of psychology has grown tremendously through lots of research, reports and studies, depression and mental illness are growing like crazy! So something is missing, which is the spiritual dimension, I think.

The true resource of healing is found in the Church, in Jesus Christ. However, to convey that to people, the Church may not always have known how to get that point across. Because the modern mind is so psychologized, that it thinks in terms of psychological concepts. So that is where I see that psychology and the faith can team up as a joint venture, where we see psychology not as a substitute religion, but in service to the Holy Spirit, which will help open the person's mind and the blockages in the person's mind to believe simplistic solutions. The spiritual solution of admitting that you need to be loved and that love is available, is so simple that it is hard for the modern complicated mind to understand that. So we have to deprogramme the mind to open up so that you can get in touch with your heart and the longings of the heart, which is a longing for love.

  

The psychologist class is rarely seen as welcoming to practising Christians. Is this your experience?

We have a small group of Christian psychologists in Denmark, who are on the same track and we of course stick together, but the others I have not had any problems with. There are some with some tendency to faith who come and ask me for supervision, but the more critical ones don't say anything, not yet at least.

People listen, they like the way I talk about it because I am not preaching. I like that I can explain with rational arguments why it makes sense to have faith. I see the Christian faith as a theory about what it means to be a human person, and every good scientist has a right to have a theory about the thing he is working with, and every scientist will believe his theory is the truth until proved otherwise. I think my theory on Christian Faith is being affirmed again and again, so I will stick to it until you show me something better.

As a Catholic and as somebody so connected to the issues of family, you must have followed the synod very closely… your thoughts?

I am not really up to date on that. I think it was good that the teachings of the Church were affirmed, which was a disappointment to many people, I think.

Homosexuality became the focal point of the synod discussions. Do you do any work with homosexuals?

I have worked with some. Especially of course homosexuals who would like to get back to a heterosexual lifestyle, they would come to me. The others I have not seen, really. I have been open to invite them in and I think I would approach them by asking them what it is they are looking for. In any relationship we will find the pain of wanting to be loved by the other person, and not being able to love much again, so by going into that without really addressing the sexual issue could sometimes clarify things and get into some areas that you wouldn't get into. So I wouldn't discuss their sexuality with them, I would meet them on the emotional level of their relationship. I wouldn't be able to endorse the sexuality either, that's not my domain. But they are hurting and I think they are hurting partly because they can't find the peace they are looking forin the way they go about it.

You mentioned reparative therapy can work with homosexuals?

I definitely believe that, yes. 

We know this is a very touchy subject, it has even been banned in some places. Would you say that all cases of homosexuality can be reversed?

I would not be able to say if there are exceptions, but I definitely tend to believe that it is deeply emotional blockages, I think there is a great fear of intimacy, which we also find in heterosexual couples. 

Even people who are not homosexual have difficulties with being sexually united to the other gender. Many marriages have problems in the sexual area, so sexual issues in general have to do with fear of intimacy. And if you think about intimacy between a make and a female, it is a tremendous challenge. Not only is it another person you have to be close to, but it is also a totally different universe. So if you are scared of that intimacy, that explosive intimacy that sexuality could represent, you might feel more comfortable trying to have something sexual going with somebody of your own gender, because it is not so strange and foreign. These are the ideas I am reflecting on to understand the fear of intimacy. It is a very big issue.

How should a family react if their son or daughter announces that they are homosexual?

I have seen those families, definitely, and I think they should be very careful about reacting with anger, and being judgemental, which is often the case, because it is shocking. Behind the anger we always find deep, deep sorrow, and woundedness. 

So I do encourage people to be honest about their pain and that they do not endorse it from that point of view, but that they can't control their child. They can try to advise, but not control or threaten. So I think it is one of the biggest challenges for many families, to convey the pain it causes, without it being judgemental and a criticism. 

It is very difficult. I think it would take family therapy in many cases to get to that point. Because the anger response will just push the child further and further away. Often there could be a lack of feeling loved by the parents at a deeper, intimate level. 

Here in the South of Europe we hear constantly about how advanced Northern Europe is. You are from Denmark, is it as wonderful as we are told?

We are supposed to be the happiest people in the world. Many studies have shown that. I think there is some confusion about the word happy. I don't think danes would call themselves happy.

We are pretty satisfied with public services, we are very spoilt in all kinds of ways. I think we are pretty satisfied in that level, but we still have one of the highest suicide rates, and take a lot of anti-depressants, so I think there is something which suggests we are not that happy when it comes to the joyful, in terms, of being joyful and appreciative, with goals for real happiness.

Do you see this as related to the secularization of the societies?

Absolutely. 

The government takes over and takes care of the people and their suffering, their illnesses, their welfare, so there isn’t really a need for God on that level, and so people drift away.

What they lack in the whole process is appreciation, gratitude, which has gone out, so with that secularization comes a lot of depression. The realization that "now we have welfare, we are pretty well off in many ways in the material sense, and we are still not as happy as we thought we would be, so people demand more and more benefits, and speak more in terms of their rights, instead of being appreciative of what they have.

But appreciation is a spiritual value, so when the spiritual goes out, appreciation seems to also yield for demanding, and demanding attitudes are related to anger. I find that in a lot of depression too, supressed anger.

Curiously, Denmark has the highest rate of young men going to fight in Syria of any other European country, and there is a discussion going on at the moment about how to integrate the ones who return. What is your view on this?

I think the reason it happens is because they miss something to fight for. When you get everything given, that you haven't had to fight for it, to work hard for it. You can go on unemployment for nothing in Denmark, and get social services to take care of your living expenses without having to do anything. Then you have nothing to fight for, and that makes life pretty dull and passionless, with a growing anger. So the desire to fight for something, with a rising anger inside, would be something that could explain why some people have this growing attraction to going out and kill somebody. I would think that is very possible.

Some could be past the point of no return, I am afraid. There is a lot of talking about it now, how to welcome them back home, and there are experts working on it. I think it is very important. Some would be perhaps reachable.

Especialist em terapia familiar em Portugal

Médica a tratar doente com ébola

O Papa Francisco falou esta quarta-feira da luta contra o ébola e mostrou-se próximo de todas as pessoas que lutam contra esta doença.

Entretanto continuamos atentos ao que se passa na Síria e no Iraque, onde o Estado Islâmico continua a lançar o terror. O último ataque fez 30 mortos, mas há dados positivos, com reforços a chegar finalmente a Kobani para socorrer os curdos.

A notícia de o Papa ter “aceite” a teoria do Big Bang, esta semana, causou alguma surpresa nos media e entre comentadores, apesar de a teoria ter sido desenvolvida por um padre católico e a Igreja estar em paz com essa e outras teorias científicas, como da evolução, há décadas. Ainda assim, há quem insista em dizer que a teoria da evolução e a religião são incompatíveis… David G. Bonagura mostra porque não é assim, neste excelente artigo que vale bem a pena ler.

Aproveito para lançar um desafio a todos. Está cá em Portugal o Dr. Peter Damgaard Hansen, psicólogo, terapeuta da família, especialista na Teologia do Corpo. Vem dar uma série de conferências sobre “Os quês e os porquês das relações humanas”, que recomendo vivamente.

Hoje conversei com ele, uma entrevista que estará disponível esta semana, mas estou a falar do assunto agora para marcarem nas vossas agendas as conferências e tentarem ir, se possível.

Assim, quinta-feira de manhã, no Seminário dos Olivais, ele fala exclusivamente a padres, das 10h às 15h30, com enfoque no trabalho com casais. Uma vez que tantos padres têm responsabilidades nestas áreas, não deixem de ir, se puderem.

Amanhã à noite fala das 17h às 20h a agentes da Pastoral da Família, no Instituto Diocesano de Formação Cristã, Rua Camilo Castelo Branco, nº 4, Lisboa.

No sábado haverá outro workshop destinado a profissionais da área, das 10 – 18h, no Auditório Orlando Ribeiro, em Telheiras e, por fim, uma sessão aberta a todos, das 21h30 – 23h, na segunda-feira dia 3 de Novembro, no auditório de São João de Deus.

Há mais informações na página da APSIC. Divulguem e apareçam. Não nos podemos apenas lamentar da crise das famílias e do casamento sem fazer nada para a contrariar.

A Evolução e a Fé são Irreconciliáveis?

Por David G. Bonagura Jr.

“A verdade não pode contradizer a verdade”. Assim ensinou o Papa Leão XIII e é por essa perspectiva que a Igreja Católica aborda a ciência e a revelação de Deus. Não existe uma única verdade científica que contradiga a palavra de Deus. Se as coisas do mundo natural foram criadas por um Deus omnipotente e reflectem a sua presença, então devem estar de acordo com aquilo que Deus revelou de si mesmo e do Universo, através da sagrada tradição e das sagradas Escrituras.

Às vezes as novas descobertas científicas parecem desafiar a nossa compreensão religiosa do mundo, como quando aprendemos que é o Sol e não a Terra que se encontra no centro do sistema solar. Mas este facto não só não afecta a centralidade do ser humano na criação de Deus (o dogma que supostamente era posto em causa na altura), como acrescenta uma nova perspectiva sobre outra verdade da revelação: que Cristo, representado na iconografia primitiva como o sol, é o verdadeiro centro e fonte de vida da criação e das nossas vidas.

Não há, por isso, qualquer razão para afirmar – como fez um biólogo recentemente no New York Times – que a ciência e a religião são irreconciliáveis. Nem nos devemos contentar em dizer que a ciência e a religião se resumem a “magistérios não coincidentes” que dizem respeito, respectivamente, a factos e a valores. Pelo contrário, os “factos” da ciência são a fundação racional sobre a qual assentam a revelação sobrenatural e os seus “valores”. Claro que a ciência e a fé têm objectos diferentes, que têm em consideração as suas diferenças inerentes mas, com o São João Paulo II, sabemos que não existe “razão para qualquer concorrência entre razão e fé: cada um contém o outro e cada um tem o seu campo de acção”.

Mais do que qualquer outra teoria científica contemporânea, a evolução constitui um feroz ataque à compreensão judaico-cristã da origem da humanidade. Desde os autocolantes nos carros que mostram um peixe, símbolo do Cristianismo, com pernas (às vezes com a legenda “Darwin”) ao recente artigo no Times que tenta explicar porque é que a fé e a teoria da evolução são incompatíveis, certo defensores da evolução têm afirmado publicamente que a sua versão da génese da humanidade é correcta e que o Genesis não passa de uma história parva.  

É fundamental para a Igreja enfrentar os desafios da teoria da evolução e das origens da humanidade, uma vez que ela ensina de forma infalível que os seres humanos são feitos à imagem e semelhança de Deus, que dotou cada um de uma alma imortal. (A Igreja nunca ensinou como é que isto se passou, uma vez que isso nunca nos foi revelado). Algumas teorias da evolução (existem muitas variações) contradizem esta verdade, afirmando que a existência da humanidade é um acidente material resultante de mutações genéticas e não de intervenção divina. Tais teorias devem ser consideradas incompletas, uma vez que excluem Deus do processo de criação.

Num famoso discurso, São João Paulo descreveu a teoria da evolução como “mais do que uma hipótese”, embora tenha usado o mesmo discurso para apontar os problemas com certas abordagens filosóficas da teoria. Mas deixemos de lado os méritos da teoria da evolução em si. O biólogo do Times dá aos seus leitores três razões pelas quais a teoria da evolução exige que se abandone a fé judaico-cristã na criação. Estas razões, que dizem mais respeito a conclusões humanas do que à ciência, podem ser desmontadas dentro do âmbito científico.

Pe. George Lemaitre, autor da
teoria do Big Bang

Em primeiro lugar, o autor argumenta que “um processo inteiramente natural e espontâneo, nomeadamente a variação aleatória e a selecção natural” explica a complexidade de organismos que aparentemente requerem um autor inteligente e sobrenatural. Mesmo que tomemos como boa essa afirmação, este “fenómeno inteiramente mecânico e estatisticamente poderoso”, apenas exclui a criação Deus ex machina defendida por certas leituras fundamentalistas e equivocadas da Bíblia. Este método não exclui a criação física por Deus através da causalidade secundária, o modus operandi normal de Deus no mundo. Quanto à suposta aleatoriedade, São João Paulo ensina-nos que aos olhos de Deus não há coincidências.

Em segundo lugar, o autor aponta para as ligações filogenéticas entre diferentes espécies. Mas este facto também não faz nada para excluir Deus do processo da criação. Na melhor das hipóteses a diferença extraordinária que existe entre os seres humanos e outros primatas com uma estrutura de ADN semelhante (alguma vez se viu um chimpanzé a debater as suas origens?) aponta para a existência de uma alma humana infundida nos humanos por Deus. Esta é a grande diferença entre homens e bestas. O autor tem razão num ponto, porém: “Nenhum traço literalmente sobrenatural foi alguma vez encontrado no Homo sapiens”. A biologia evolutiva, por si, não é capaz de medir a alma imaterial, que é produto de Deus e não da criação material.

Por fim, o problema do mal é colocado de uma perspectiva evolutiva: a predação, a doença e a morte mostram que os humanos “são produzidos por um processo natural e totalmente amoral, sem qualquer indicação da existência de um criador controlador e benevolente”. Mas o esforço levado a cabo pelos homens – em todos os tempos e em todas as culturas e religiões – para encontrar sentido no sofrimento e atribuir códigos morais à procriação, mostram que há muito a dizer sobre estes animais racionais do que meramente a sua natureza animal. Os biólogos têm tentado encontrar um “gene moral”, mas o sentido e a moralidade transcendem os limites daquilo que qualquer outro animal pode fazer. É estranho que uma espécie supostamente gerada pelo acaso, sem qualquer sentido, tenha esta vontade inata tão intensa de encontrar sentido em todas as coisas.

Pedimos desculpa ao nosso professor de biologia, mas os seus alunos e leitores não precisam de abandonar a sua fé judaico-cristã à luz da teoria da evolução. Pelo menos em termos das três críticas que ele propõe, não há nada na dimensão científica da evolução que exclua o papel de Deus na criação dos humanos e na infusão das suas almas. Pelo contrário, talvez o professor é que precisa de reavaliar a sua fé na evolução, interpretada a uma luz intencionalmente ateia. 

David G. Bonagura, Jr. é professor assistente de Teologia no Seminário da Imaculada Conceição, em Huntington, Nova Iorque.

(Publicado pela primeira vez na Quinta-feira, 23 de Outubro de 2014 no The Catholic Thing)

© 2014 The Catholic Thing. Direitos reservados. Para os direitos de reprodução contacte:info@frinstitute.org

The Catholic Thing é um fórum de opinião católica inteligente. As opiniões expressas são da exclusiva responsabilidade dos seus autores. Este artigo aparece publicado em Actualidade Religiosa com o consentimento de The Catholic Thing.

Terra, Tecto e Trabalho!

Lutando pelos direitos das mulheres em todo o mundo...

Lembram-se de Narin Afrin? É a mulher que comanda as tropas que defendem Kobani do Estado Islâmico. Pois bem, ela escreveu um artigo de opinião para o New York Times no qual critica a Turquia e afirma que neste momento os curdos combatem pelos direitos das mulheres em todo o mundo.

Porque é que critica a Turquia? Bom, sei lá, talvez por coisas como esta.

O Papa falou hoje a membros do Encontro Mundial dos Movimentos Populares e disse que os direitos à Terra, ao Trabalho e à Habitação são sagrados e que as bem-aventuranças são um “guia revolucionário”. A meio do discurso gracejou que quando fala destas coisas vem sempre alguém dizer que é comunista.

Asia Bibi, a paquistanesa condenada à morte por blasfémia no Paquistão, escreveu uma carta ao Papa, a pedir-lhe as suas orações mas mostrando-se confiante no “plano de Deus” para ela.

Cuba vai ter uma nova Igreja, a primeira em mais de 55 anos.

Os bravos combatentes do Boko Haram voltaram a fazer aquilo que fazem melhor, raptar meninas adolescentes.

E a minha colega Rosário Silva foi à procura dos tesouros da diocese de Évora, que partilha connosco aqui.